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October 27, 2008

The more I give to you… (Comments Off)

You have to excuse the emo posts from time to time. Ranting and venting to my friends hasn’t been enough actually.

I have tons and tons of things to blog about, but I haven’t figured out where to start. So I have to properly plan that first including a bunch of other things. My days lately, although not really a mess, hasn’t really been productive.

This, though, I have been wanting to talk about.

The more I give to you, the more I die.

It’s a line from one of my favorite songs. (Guess what song that is! *lol*)

This line has a strong impact to me after going through a fucking disastrous relationship. When Mac and I started going out, I wasn’t sure if I would love him but I liked him a lot. I told myself I should stop playing around and be serious again (because the person I liked before took me for granted, but that’s a different topic). Eventually, I learned the feeling of loving him. I gave my love in various ways. He became my priority; part of my life decisions. Even when I was sick, I was there for him. I did things that years ago I didn’t expect I would do like being PDA with him. I didn’t like the idea, but I didn’t care what others think — I just wanted to hug and kiss him to show even strangers how much I loved him. When there was something he needed, I did everything I can to give it to him. It didn’t matter if my parents or friends would get mad. It didn’t matter if I become sick, tired, or poor. What mattered to me most was his happiness. My heart would flutter when he shows his gratefulness and appreciation in his own way of loving. In short, I gave him everything without knowing that I was going to hurt myself in the end.

On the moment I felt lost, I asked, “Where should my love go? Who would love me?” Too much love has killed me.

But is love supposed to be that bad? Neri, a high school friend, blogged about when one is given an opportunity to love. She said that a person should cherish that feeling and give it all he’s got because he will never know if the love will last or not. What matters is the present. Not the past nor the future. It hurts a lot when a relationship ends in a snap, but we should believe that breakups happen FOR A REASON — that better things will come.

October 23, 2008

Mixed emotions (1 Comment)

So much has happened lately. I thought everything was going alright. I was slowly getting back on track with organizing my priorities and duties. Then something happened that I didn’t see happening — Mac breaking up with me. It happened during the weekend. It went by so fast that I still have a slight hang-over from it. Again, I have a slight hang-over from the event. Not with Mac, mind you. Some people do not get me at all. >_>

I still don’t have the heart to explain what happened. (Man, I haven’t even talked about the death of my dear pet Allie then this comes…) Later on, maybe I shall. After much argument with a certain person, I can say that wrong judgment comes when you let your heart choose over your brain. Like they say, you better know who to take care of — the person or people who care for you the most.

Thanks to Phoebe, Joiz, Carol, dementia, Janine, aqrn785, Maru, ROLAND, Doy, Arni, Jaja, Liza, and a bunch of other people who were there for me.

Oh well, PARTY MODE ON! *ROFLMAO*

October 13, 2008

Protected: Robbed. GRRR~ (Comments Off)

October 13, 2008

Mash It Up! gig + busy, busy week (1 Comment)

I have so much to blog about, but I won’t talk about them in just one post (this might up 100 pages long or even longer).

We had a practice before we headed to Bela Bar. We practiced 3 songs; songs that we weren’t sure if we’ll add to our playlist. We had to just in case.

We left later than we wanted to. Hil, the gig organizer, was asked me our whereabouts because we were asked to be there early for opening act.

Rain poured when we were halfway. That, the traffic, and our indecisiveness caused major delays. We arrived between 10-10:30PM — tired, sleepy, and I was in a bad mood because of a small fight w/ bf.

In the MRT

Anyway, Hil, the gig organizer, told us we can start setting up and doing sound checks. Commuting on a rainy night is tough, so we said that we wanna rest first. Also, we’d rather play right away instead of the pasikat moment. LOLz~ Then Hil offered us free Red Horse that mostly just went to waste. You’ll know later on.

Another band did the opening which is good news for us so we can prepare properly. I wrote down our line-up and tuned my guitar. The first band didn’t play long. We did our set-up duties that took us a while because the equipment weren’t that good. The guitar amp was wonky. Setting the volume at 1 already sets the amp at full blast.

I’m emo-ing with my guitar XD;

First song = disastrous! The bass amp Rayton used kept going off for more than half of the song. The audience was still nice to applaud us. The fucked up equipment killed our mood, but we continued. The guitar amp went wonky as well, similarly to Rayton’s bass amp. The sound will cut off at every strum I make. Specially on the solo part, I played like some wannabe n00b guitarist.

How embarrassing! It was also cold in the bar that my hands were freezing. That our first time to play for Bisikleta Productions and our performance sucked. I hope we get invited again, but not with the Oi! bands plox.

I have nothing against them. I just don’t like their pushing and pushing in a small dance floor that they accidentally hit our table. My beer went to waste because of their so-called dancing.

They were amusing though. I guess that kind of made up for the wasted beer. >_>

Contras at Bela Bar

I hardly remember the sequence of events that night. I think it was after one of Contras’ songs that the bar owner went to the dancefloor. He told the audience that the dancefloor isn’t that big, so they should go easy on the _dancing_. He even had a gun tucked in his pants. D: Those in the dancefloor didn’t move a bit when they saw a gun. I expected them to behave, but nuuuuu~ They knocked our table a lot of times. One big man accidentally pushed the bar owner as well. The very pissed bar owner took out his gun and pointed it to the big man. Most of the customers went out while we still sat there. Aside from “guns blazing,” a “clash of knives” also happened. *rofl* I was actually clueless. I also wanted to join in their riot because no one replaced my beer.

We got home around 3AM and very much amused by the events. XD; Hil apologized to me the following day, but not for the beer. Yeah, I still have an “anger hang-over” from that.

Whew, that’s one blog topic done.

Climate change papers kept me from blogging. I had to do a quick research about climate change, Makati’s adaptation and mitigation process on it, and contributions for the Mayor’s speech for the World Bank CC program. I had to work on a Saturday night with no extra pay. Only free dinner from boss. I remember there were about 10 speeches made from different people and offices. The final speech was like a combined force. D: I asked help form the WB Manila folks to check it. I’m afraid it’s full of fail, but boss said that we got a good response from the Mayor’s presentation. I wonder if he presented the WB-edited speech.

October 11, 2008

Thank you, Carol! (1 Comment)

Carol gave this to me weeks ago.

I only got to blog about it now because I keep forgetting and I got real busy lately. D: Maru and I already ate part of it. It’s very sweet.

Eating this was hard for me. I felt like I was going to eat a real dog.

September 29, 2008

Protected: Going through applications (Comments Off)

September 22, 2008

Congratulations to board passers! (Comments Off)

Congratulations to my friends/acquaintances who passed the Sanitary Engineering board exam! There are more who passed now than during my time. The examinees must be well-prepared then.

We were too lazy back then because of Christmas and New Year’s break. Anyway, congratulations again! w00t!

On to something totally unrelated, here’s a video of Keroro and Scott Norton in a wrestling match.