May 13, 2004

Daily: Unappreciated (2 Comments)

Sorry for this third post. ^^vvv I read Nikki’s post regarding feeling unappreciated and unwanted. Read hers then my reply:

I’m having the same feeling now. If you’ve read my recent post, I mentioned something about getting almost kidnapped. I didn’t tell my parents because they’ll harass me with questions, but I did tell my bandmates because they’re near as being my close friends. Only one got mad and the others just laughed it off. I’m happy to be safe, but the reaction of these “others” doesn’t make me _fully_ happy. It’s as if they wouldn’t even care if I was gone. It makes me think I should have let myself be kidnapped.

Another thing is, I always try to make people happy — trying to give them what they want in spite of my personal troubles… I’ll prioritize them over myself. Yet when I want their time, they wouldn’t give some even for a while. And I would feel that the times and the troubles I would go for them is just wasted. That’s why I’ve become semi-cold to people. I’ve become choosy because I hardly trust anyone. Because I realized that whenever I trust someone, they take advantage of it til they would leave me and I would feel like no one really cares for me. It’s the same feeling as being unwanted, right? I see myself a shallow person too. I become uber happy with little things. Things that make me feel appreciated… Just like what you’re experiencing now.

They say that crying is the best way to vent out your anger and sadness, but I don’t know how. I would cry over drama shows, but the actual drama in my life? I wonder when that would be.

It sucks when you get time alone. All these things flood your mind and you start to go crazy. *sighs*

I typed that out fast, so it might be hard to understand my point. >P

May 13, 2004

Daily: Bored last night (1 Comment)

I was bored. I took pics of myself even though I was already in my pj’s. You won’t even notice it anyway.

(Read more…)

May 13, 2004

Daily: I think I’m happy (Comments Off)

LiveWed.com’s a good website to waste time on. I married Taya.

I wanted to marry another guy, but I changed my mind.

I’m supposed to be sad and angry because, first, one decides to piss me off for the heck of it. I wouldn’t be pissed if he didn’t call me names. I’ll beat him to a pulp if I see him.

Second, last May 11, I almost got kidnapped by some old man. It saddens me that no one seemed to care. I didn’t mention this right away here because remembering it scares me. Even til now. There was one who cared though. Hehe~ I luvvv you.

Hmm… The day I bought my webcam was the day of the elections. I failed to mention that. ^^;; I’m sure most of the peeps I voted for are going to lose. Heh~ It’s not because they’re not good. Most people ought for those real famous without even thinking if they can actually do their appeals. Isn’t this abusing fame? Oh well, it’s all because of Erap.

I hate politics. It’s a wonder why I wanna become a lawyer.

Third, I saw my ex-boyfriend — the first — unexpectedly. It was after I voted. As soon as I got in the car, I saw him. I didn’t recognize him at first because he looked awfully cute and he reminded me of SA Martinez (311).

They have the same get-up. Anyhoo, I only recognized him when he looked at me and he smiled. I almost broke down because he hurt me. Just when you have forgotten these sort of people they show up, ne?

The reason why I’m happy — WE HAVE ANOTHER GIG. Yay!

We have gigs on 18, 20, 21, 28. (God help me manage the band and my studies.) All thanks to Luv! She called last night and reminded me of the gig on the 28th. Then she asked if we could also play on the 21st. I thought, “Wow, we have a gig on the 18th and 20th… And now another on the 21st!?”

I accepted it right away without even asking my bandmates. *sweatdrop* My bad, but I’m sure they’ll be happy to hear about it. If not, I’ll go with the other band. I’ll be their vocalist though. I’ll just call Melvin (the drummer with a to-die-for voice *lol*).

Yay-ness.

Oh dear, did I just mention Melvin’s name?